10 Reasons Not To Find Out the Sex of Your Baby

Did you find out the sex of your baby(s) before it arrived?

I read this post on Scary Mommy a few days ago and it got me to thinking: Is it really so strange to NOT find out the gender of your baby before it is born?

Up until the past few decades, nobody found out what they were having until it popped out.  My mom's last baby was born in 1985, and while she did not find out the gender beforehand, she did have her first and only ultrasound with this pregnancy. And that was considered strange.

Fast forward to 2011 and my first pregnancy.  We did not find out the gender.  We wanted what my husband declared would be one of the only great surprises of our lives.  Second baby arrived in 2013 and again we chose not to find out the gender.  Was this crazy?

But let me tell you, there were plenty of family and friends who just did not understand this decision and the "when are you going to find out what you are having?" questions never really stopped. 

So, to each their own, but to anyone undecided, here you go!

10 reasons NOT to find out the sex of your baby:

1.  Surprises can be fun! It's like being a kid on Christmas morning.

2. You don't know what you don't know.  Once that 20 week ultrasound is over you may not get another chance to find out anyway.

3.  Want to drive certain annoying family members a bit crazy?  This may be a solution.

4.  Not finding out gives impatient people (like me) a lesson in patience.  Which comes in handy once that baby does arrive.

5.  You get to try all those old wives tales for predicting baby's gender.

6.  Buying gender neutral gear and clothes saves money! (For the next baby)

7.  Those gender reveal parties and announcements are a lot of work.

8.  Once you find out the gender, prepare to scrap your registry list and instead receive oodles of clothes.

9.  Since you don't know what you're having, you can't possibly have baby names selected which means you won't have to endure everyone's opinions on those names.   

10.  No matter what comes out, you will fall in love at first sight!  
  

Did you find out the sex of your baby?  I think if I had third baby (I'm not!), I would still go for the surprise.  Give me your reasons though - maybe I can be persuaded to switch sides! 

Red Crayon vs. Vomited Blueberries

Here we embark on an involuntary quest to determine which of these lovely stains is actually harder to get out of carpeting. Note I said involuntary. "Why on earth do you care?" you ask. We care because we have to care. We don't have a choice. Can't leave a rainbow of crayon or regurgitated blueberries on the carpeting forever. So, you'll thank us later, I promise. At some point in your parenting, you too, will be charged with a stain that you'd rather leave to rot. But, you can't.

---

Baba had been coughing. A lot. And, it was nearly impossible for her to stop. We intervened with some meds - because, well, who can sleep when you're coughing every 10 seconds? Turns out that the combination of medicine, with the constant aggravation to her larynx and lungs ended in eruption.

And, more than just once. Like, every fifteen minutes for five hours. It was not pretty. (Perhaps I mentioned the blueberries she had for dinner?!)

Kinda reminds me of when I was pregnant with her. And, everything I ingested came right back out again.

If you're a parent, you've likely experienced the wretched experience that is chasing tail after a vomiting child. Worse if the child can't or is too young to make it to any sort of toilet - as in Baba's case.

Therefore, the five hours consisted of constant sheet changes, new pajamas, blankets, towels and a dab at the rug whenever possible. Thankfully, she recovered quickly and those hours were the only hours she was plagued by this ick.

The carpet? That's a different story. The evidence remains, despite how hard I attacked those blueberries.

- - -

Meanwhile, 750 miles away, someone else at another household decided that it would be a good idea to draw a pretty picture for his Momma. How nice of you, Brother.

Brother and Sister were playing nicely in the playroom while Mommy was in the kitchen preparing dinner.  It was quite lovely actually as they were playing and there was no screaming emanating from the playroom for a good 15 minutes. I was happily cooking away so that dinner would actually be ready by the time the kids got hungry. A miracle.

It may have been a little too quiet, now that I think about it.  Quiet is always a warning sign for something in this house and it is never a something good.  At the time, it just did not register in my brain that was thinking of 23 other things I needed to do that evening, which included leaving the house in 30 minutes for a meeting. 

I finally wandered over to the playroom to gather those cute little cherubs for dinner and what do my eyes behold?  Brother is standing in the doorway with a huge smile and says: "Look Momma, I made you a pretty rainbow.  AND it's a race track!" 

You're lucky we didn't show you the blueberries...

I look around trying to figure out where this lovely rainbow racetrack was located and then I look down...at the floor.  Yep.  Said masterpiece was drawn in crayon on our just 4 days prior freshly steam cleaned (of course!) cream-colored carpet.  Lovely indeed. 

At first, I gave no reaction.  Because while I was extremely annoyed at the new item on my to-do list for the evening, I also knew it wasn't the end of the world entirely and there were far worse things that could have happened or been broken.  As my husband remarked later, "Isn't drawing in crayon on the walls or floor some sort of childhood right of passage." 

The thing that got to me the most was that the weekend before I had literally spent the afternoon cleaning this exact carpet.  After having a serious chat with Brother that we do not draw on anything other than paper, I spent a good portion of the night re-cleaning the carpet.  And, after several rounds of scrubbing all of the crayon was gone.  Except for the red crayon which sadly is still visible enough.

As the professional carpet cleaner apparently did not quite cut it, I am currently researching home remedies that remove crayon from carpet.  Specifically, red crayon.  Until then, a red circle marks the spot. 

What was it about that night in these two houses?  Maybe it was something about that full moon.

She Only Has Eyes For Her Brother

When I think back to my own childhood, many of my memories include a certain much younger sister trailing around behind me.  Everywhere.  Always. I may or may not have constantly complained to my mother about this fact.  Her response, "She looks up to you. One day you will want her around."  Well, that day eventually arrived so I guess the joke's on me.  (See Sister, I do like you after all!)

Now I have whined stated nicely a few times about my kids and their tendency to, here and there, get under each other's skin.  And while these moments are not fun for me, the Mommy, since my son started his new pre-school a few weeks ago I have noticed a better trend emerging. 

They really do love each other.

We picked Brother up from school last week and you know what was the first thing was he said when we got in the car?  "Sister, I missed you!"  Me = puddle.  Then another day after we got home from pick-up, he gave her the biggest hug ever and she hugged him right back.  If these moments did not happen so quickly, I would record them if only so I could prove to them in 10 years that there was a day when they really did love each other.

So, there has been less fighting over Sister stealing batman and Brother grabbing back a train.  (Side note: That Sister is no joke.  She steals toys right out of Brother's hands, lays on top of them, and giggles.  Perhaps she is going to give us a run for our money?)  Life has been a little bit more pleasant and enjoyable because this Mommy has not had to separate kids that just do not want to play nicely together.

I will sit here nicely, if only for my brother.

So all of this is a little too cute, right?  Well, here's where it gets a little more fun. 

We all know that 18-month-olds can be a little challenging, to put it mildly.  Based on my own personal experience,  I also would wager that 18 month old girls, in particular, are even more so.  And my daughter has certainly not been an exception.  If she does not want to do something, it's just not happening, no matter how much I sweet-talk or bribe.  It's her way, or forget it.  She is the very definition of strong-willed and opinionated.

Let's say she refuses to eat one bite of her dinner, and I try to airplane it into her mouth - it's just not happening.  But if I then coerce have her darling brother to simply ask her to take a bite of said food. Bam. In the mouth.  Same for getting dressed, taking a bath, picking up toys, and on.  It's a bit ridiculous really.  My word is mud.

It is required now that Sister must do exactly what she sees her older Brother doing.  We also have to make sure we now have two of everything.  Maybe I am naïve but I really didn't see this happening at such a young age.  This morning, for example, we dropped Brother off at school and she completely lost it when it was time for her to say good-bye.  She had already found her place at the table and was ready to color, you see.  I had to drag her kicking and screaming, literally, out of the room.

Brother also plays soccer.  So, Sister must play soccer.  Last week for his first practice, she threw another fit because she wanted soccer socks and a soccer ball just like her Brother.  So, she wore the knee-high socks with her sneakers and carried along a baby-sized soccer ball and off we went.  Temper tantrum averted. 

At the end of the day, I'll take all this sibling love and milk it for all it's worth.  Why not capitalize on it and even encourage it a little more, right?  Sister looks at her bigger, older Brother with adoring eyes and I know that this relationship will only grow stronger as they get older.  Right??? Please say yes!     

Need a Pep Talk? It's Mom-isms To The Rescue!

So, as I have mentioned before, my mom has amassed a lot of what my siblings and I have termed "Mom-isms."

What's a Mom-ism? Basically, a saying, motto, quote or such you may or may not be already familiar with but that she claimed as her own and repeats to us as applicable.  So, daily.  Since birth.

Mom-isms even appeared in the form of window clings or handwritten around our house when I was a kid.  Some of them are still hanging. This is for real. (Ask Sarah. She'll vouch for me on this one - she might have made fun of me once or twice for them. But, it wasn't my fault.)

The funny thing though is that the older we get, the less we make fun of her for this and the more we really "get" these messages and also find comfort in them. Life can be hard, and sometimes a few little words is all you need to turn your mood or the day around.

So, in honor of the biggest inspiration in my life, I give you my Mom's best inspirational messages.

"Think negative, get negative. Think positive, get positive."
Sounds so simple, but this one sometimes blows when I try to put it into action. It's so much harder than it sounds. I seem to get stuck in this track of negativity where it's hard to see the positive in a situation.

"I believe in myself."
I am a rockstar. Repeating this one works too, but it's just a souped up version of what Mom always told me. Especially after we become parents, it's important to repeat this beautiful mantra to remember that we are doing the best we can and man, that's good!

"Trust that life is good, even when it hurts."
But, it hurts. How can it be good? We've been there - probably many times at this point in our lives. At the end of the day, sucky things happen in life. But, in general, it is pretty darn good. Most of the time.

"No stinkin' thinkin'."
Love you, Mom. And, yes, I'll clean up my brain.

"When God closes one door, He opens a window."
Sometimes that next door isn't automatically opened, but at least a window is opened so we can catch a glimmer of what's around the corner. What can carry us through and get us to the next phase of our lives.

"What goes around, comes around."
A more traditional version of "karma's a bitch." But, it's true, isn't it?!

"Open your eyes and look."
Duh. I feel like this one has to be in every Mom's repertoire. And, seriously, could children (and their Daddies, sometimes) be any more blind? How often I want to scream, "OPEN YOUR EYES!"

"Keep it simple."
What a beautiful way to live and to parent.  We like this one a lot. Hence the name of our blog.

There is nothing like Mom's wisdom. (Or her chicken soup, but that's another post for another day). If I end this life being one-third the parent she has been, I am a wild success.

Passing on wisdom to the next generation.
This one was "Playing in the rain is fun!"

8 Reasons I Will Miss Breastfeeding Now That It's Over

I am now one month removed from my very last time breastfeeding my (likely) very last baby.  And while for the most part, my reaction to this is a big sigh of relief, for a variety of reasons, it also gives me a pang of nostalgia and sadness that it is over.

In total, I nursed my two babies, the boy and sister, for 29 months. Both of them were able to wean on their own - a fact that I am eternally and whole-heartedly grateful for.  My only goal in completing my nursing experience with each of them was that they could choose when they were done.  And they did.  The boy at 13 months and sister at 16 months.  I cannot even put into words my contentment and satisfaction with this fact.

But, as I alluded above, at least with my recent baby, I was feeling ready to move on.  Luckily, it turns out she was too and we shared that last nursing session during a late night dream feed because I just needed some relief.  In the moment, I had a suspicion that would be it, and it was.  I was sad for a minute, but mostly grateful for the experience. 

Please allow me now to take a minute to reflect on all the ways that I will miss what has become my (very time-consuming) hobby these last two years.

1.  Food.  I was one of those nursing mom's who definitely needed to consume extra calories to produce enough milk.  Hello ice cream and nutella, you are already sorely missed from my daily menu.  (Although my butt and hips may soon be glad you are gone.)

2.  Physical fitness.  It was so nice to be able to burn at least 500 calories a day WHILE DOING NOTHING.  I relished in this probably a little too much actually and need to get my butt moving a bit more now.  No more excuses!

3.  Time to relax.  I have a busy life. Who doesn't these days though, right?  It turns out that being forced to take a break and sit on the couch or up in the nursery several times a day for a little breather wasn't so terrible after all.    

4.  Bonding with my baby.  Our time nursing was probably the only uninterrupted, quiet time we had together the entire day.  This was even more true with my second baby because I had a toddler running around.  There is nothing quite as special as having your baby gaze at you lovingly while filling their belly.  Now that I think of it, no one has been gazing lovingly at me since either.

5.  Big Boobs.  Ahem.  So, not that it matters of course, but it was kinda nice to have a little cleavage these past months.  Normally, I am lacking in that department a bit so I'll take it where I can get it.

6.  Saving money.  Let's be honest.  One of the major reasons breastfeeding rocks is that its FREE. (Mostly- save for that pump if you need one.  But new laws have even made that possibly free.)  Buying formula sucks if only for the cost.  While I am proud to say my youngest did not require a drop of formula (GO ME!), my first baby did need supplementing with formula due to milk supply issues.  And even supplementing a few bottles a day was pretty costly.  No thanks.

7.  Getting out of chores.  OK, keep this one on the down low.  But all of that time spent nursing was time I could not possibly be helping with other things that needed doing...like giving our oldest his bath, walking the dog, doing the dishes, and picking up the house.  "Sorry honey, I have to feed the baby" provided a convenient excuse for my husband to pick up my slack without him batting an eyelash, while I got a little time out.

8.  Being the sole food source.  What's the point in making all of that milk if you can't brag about it a little bit?  Excuse me while I feed my ego now.  Being the sole provider of food for your child is nothing short of a wonderful, miraculous feat and one I feel proud to have accomplished twice.  Once they start on pureed foods this changes a bit but knowing that someone else is depending on you for survival, and you are providing the means to it, is a pretty cool feeling.

One thing I will not miss: my pump.  It's the best friend I never wanted!

What will you (or do you) miss most about breastfeeding your little one? 

How do I miss thee Nutella? Let me count the ways...

The 10 Most Completely Rational Reasons I Am Over Summer

This is the time of year I wished we lived anywhere other than where we do:  The Desert. 

Yes, we live in Phoenix.  Did you know the only other place on earth with a climate comparable to here is the Sahara Desert?  Yep.

Come December, I'll be bragging to everyone who lives in winter that, hey, its only 65 where I live!  My "winter" jacket is just a hoodie!  But right now, not so much.

And the worst part is, even though it's mid-July, we aren't even half-way through it yet.  In my neck of the woods, we won't even see even the 90's until almost October!  Have I mention I have spent two of my four summers while living in Phoenix pregnant? 

So, in honor of my least favorite season (at least here), I give you the reasons I am ready for what's up next.

1.  I hate sweating. Seriously.  Sweating should be relegated to occurring only when one decides to do some form of moderate or intense physical activity.  And, NOT just when you step foot outdoors.  I cannot remember the last time that I didn't have even a few drops of sweat on me.  Yuck.

2. This time of year the only form of outdoor entertainment for kids must involve water.  Which means I must wear a bathing suit.  Which means I must be bathing suit ready at all times.  Enough said.

3.  Shaving.  Ok, I am not the type that doesn't shave. (No offense intended if that's you! I just prefer to.)  But, let's face it, wearing a bathing suit every single day requires a lady take certain measures.  It just gets old when you have to do that daily.  (See #2)

4.  In order to save on electric and efficiency with our air conditioning, the husband requires that all blinds and curtains remain shut all day.  There's something about living in the semi-dark all day, when it's blue skies and sunny outside, that just doesn't work for me.

5.  The Movies.  Want to know what people do all summer who live in the desert?  They go to the movies.  Think about it- it's the perfect escape.  An ice cold, dark building where you can escape to another reality for two hours.  I would like to go to the movies more and so would 3/4 of my family.  Unfortunately, the 17 month old just can't hack it yet.

6. Yard Work. Do you know what's worse than sweating just from stepping foot outside?  Having to do actual intense activity in that oven.  And, unless you're willing to get up at 4:30 am (seriously, its light out then!) to do the yard work, it's freaking hot by 8 am when you get your act together to do it.

7.  Which reminds me: the rising sun.  Out here the sun is high in the sky by 5 am.  And even with blackout curtains, somehow our kids can sense the sun is up.  So they get up.  Come winter they start sleeping in a bit, thank goodness, I just wish they would extend this year round.

8.   Seat belts.  What's the perfect recipe for a third degree burn?  A seat belt that has been baking in a car parked out in the sun.  I swear the temperature inside our car hits at least 130+ degrees these days.  My youngest mastered the word "hot" before even "Mommy".  The kids cry upon sight of their car seats knowing what's coming.  Those poor little legs.

9.  Haboobs.  Yes, this is a real word. If you know what this word means, your disdain for it probably parallels mine.  Let's just say this is the mother of all dust storms. It's apoplectic, wreaks havoc on the pool, and leaves a nice coating of dust and sand on anything and everything. 

10.  Wearing the same clothes for 7 months gets a little tiresome.  You see, we really only have 2 seasons of clothes here.  Which means our summer clothes must last from April until October.  By that time, I am basically ready to just toss everything we own and start over.        

I guess the only thing left to say is...at least we don't have to shovel any snow.  Suckas! 

BONUS: All that swimming does equal good naps. 

Refusing To Participate In The Terrible Twos

I can hear you laughing at me.  "How naïve she is," you're saying. Well, hush.

I get this drive to have it all together from my Mother. Thanks, Mom. When I graduated high school, my 'Senior Superlative' as written by my friends was "most likely to become her Mom."  I hated them for that back then and now realize that they could not have been more accurate.  I like to be the ring leader in my own circus.

So. AK is now closer to two than she is to one. If there is such thing as a perfect newborn, infant, baby and early toddler, she's it. She has given me so little trouble, headache, heartache, you name it. She's just a good freakin' kid. Case in point was last weekend. She laughs until my own cheeks hurt and I feel like my heart sings when I am with her.

But, holy crap. She kinda acted two last weekend. It came from left field. I wasn't expecting it. Suddenly, she's throwing a mini-tantrum at the plant nursery because she wants to ride in the dilapidated mini red coupe car sitting in the sand. She didn't want her raspberries and how dare me for offering them to her, so she deliberately stuck her finger so hard into each one of them that it not only squirted red raspberry juice on my shirt, but it pitifully smushed it onto her tray so she could, with one swoop of her hand, throw it onto the wall. Yelling "NO" in the process. WTH? Where's my angel baby?

You do understand that you ARE going to get me what I want out of that cupboard, yes?

She's almost two. That's where she is.

Hold up. I'm not participating in the Terrible Twos. Just not. I haven't had the heart to tell her yet, but we're getting there. I will gently and kindly explain to her that the behavior that often accompanies two-year-olds will not be welcome in our house. And, I am sure she will listen. (Insert sarcastic laugh here).

So much of life is about the attitude we have when dealing with the things that enter our journey, isn't it? So, can I attempt to maintain an attitude that encourages my little two-year-old to still experience the fun in life while being that ever elusive good kid? I think so.

I don't want to over-parent her, whatever that is. I don't want to helicopter. But, I do want her to learn to respect boundaries and most of all, know that I am her Momma. I am in charge. I'm a really fun Momma (to her, anyway) and I play like I'm two. But, I'm the boss.

At the end of the day, she sat in her rocking chair, quietly reading a book. When she saw me, she patted the spot next to her and said, "Sit, Momma." I melted.

And, then I sat.

Nurturing Marriage After Kids

I belong to an online forum of Moms with kids all around the same age. I love this group even though the vast majority of us wouldn't know each other from Adam if we tripped across each other. We've never met in person, but we share some of our deepest, darkest thoughts, concerns, as well as unfiltered joys. We support each other as we all are going through many of the same things with our little ones.

A post from one of my Mom friends caught my eye today. She was honestly mentioning that she would get annoyed when her husband would gently come on to her during the day when she was focused on being a Mom. I so appreciated her honesty. Her post was met with a slew of opinions from "OMG - that drives me crazy, too" to "You'll be even more distraught when he stops showing he's interested in you" to "Be happy that he finds you attractive." This got me thinking.

Before we had AK, husband was my world. My focus revolved around him - in the most healthy way possible. We did everything together and for the most part, it was just the two of us. We were (and are, don't worry) blissfully happy. The energy that I had, which now seems like it was enough to send me to the moon sans rocketship, was spent on nurturing our marriage. It wasn't this sappy intentional love fest, but it was the way our world naturally worked.

Virtually every night was date night.



Before I was Mommy, I was all his

If I found someone "cute," it was him. Now, my cuteness radar seems to be focused on AK. And, when I found him cute, I told him. I shamefully tell you that these days, sometimes that appears to take too much energy. Or, the thought leaves as quickly as it entered while tending to something baby related.

When I saw something in a store that made me think of him, I got it for him. Our lives were filled with little surprises for each other. Today, my eye was caught only by the world's largest selection of Melissa and Doug puzzles. I don't think he will enjoy putting the blue triangle into its slot as much as AK will.

Husband is my partner in this parenthood thing. I adored him before I adored our little girl. She is half him, for heaven's sake. Just thinking about this fact makes me wildly appreciative and thankful for having such a wonderful partner. I would have it no other way.



Discussing their favorite flavor of Puff?

My husband - and many others that I know of - are not complex beings. He seems to beam for hours if I mention how handsome he is, how proud I am of him or how thankful I am for what he does for our family. It doesn't take much. And, one of the keys that I have to remember is that he feels love differently than I do.

I like little things. Cards, a single flower or a healthy snack. (Who am I kidding? A chocolate chip cookie, please) That doesn't necessarily do it for him, although I know he appreciates it. He likes being noticed by me. Damn. He's simple. In my world of constant activity, attention is one thing I can handle, and handle well.

So. Today, as much as I will focus on AK, I will remember that husband was husband before he was Daddy. He needs love, affection and attention too. And, he deserves it.

Fish Faces, Doodled Sidewalks, Ice Cream Kisses and a Really Messy House

It's summer.  Hell yeah.

Grilling season, pretty flowers, playgrounds, ice cream, watermelon...you get the drift. I daydream about summer all winter long.  I also live in Colorado, where winter is the norm.  When summer actually takes it sweet old time and gets here already, it's like every human being comes out of hibernation, giddy like a school girl skipping down the street.

When summer hits, I almost want to do nothing else.  I want to play.  And, now with AK entering our world - and being old enough to play - she's my perfect excuse.

Last weekend, husband went out of town. For one moment, I need to float his boat, toot his horn, blow wind in his sails (knock it off - that wasn't meant to be dirty!) He went down to my Mom's house to tackle the world's biggest honey-do list. I know.  Isn't he the sweetest?  I swoon.

Anyway, I had one task this past weekend: clean the house. It was a self-given task and it was such a lofty goal. I would have been so proud of myself had I completed it. I didn't. I didn't even come close. In fact, AK and I only messed it up more. But, holy crap, we had fun.

We made faces at the (huge!) fish in the pond at the nursery. We picked out and potted pretty new flowers for the boxes on our deck. We let ice cream melt down our hands. AK had her first corn on the cob. We went out to lunch - twice. We bought the biggest box of sidewalk chalk ever and doodled all up and down the driveway. We took several bike rides - I would say with the wind blowing through our hair. But, really, AK doesn't have any hair, so that's a moot point. And, we laughed until our cheeks hurt.

 

I hardly looked at my phone. I take that back - I took a boatload of pictures.

A while back, you may recall, I made an effort to be truly present with my daughter. I vowed to put down the devices and spend time watching her become a little person. This past weekend epitomized that goal. And, I achieved it, wildly.

When she's giggling, running, chasing and playing with reckless abandon I could care less about the dishes in the sink, the blueberries mashed into the floor or the puzzles strewn throughout the playroom. Aside from the fact that the bath towels need changing, the dog beds need cleaning and don't even get me started on the need to vacuum.

I learned a very valuable lesson this weekend: the reward of being truly present and disregarding the massive to-do list that every one of us grapples with, is indescribable. I wouldn't have traded the experiences that we created together for the world. I am so thankful that I actually listened to the little chats I had with myself - "Sarah, who cares about the house. Let it go." I let it go. But, I got it back in spades.

Three days later, I am rejoicing in the fact that my house is currently being cleaned. By someone other than me.

My Little Tornado, aka My Daughter

Holy moly, is a 15 month old busy!  Where in the world do they get this energy from?  I may not take a nap every day and sleep 12 hours a night (frankly, ridiculously less lately due to that same 15 month old waking every day at 4:45 am, thankyouverymuch. And remember, I am currently laid-off, therefore not needing to wake so early), but I still can't figure out where the reserves for this level of activeness come from.  Although EM is my second baby, I guess I forgot about this part.  

Toys are inconsequential, many days food is too. The only thing of interest is getting those little hands on anything and everything that has not been locked up or tied down and throwing it in her wake.

When do they stop being little tornados?

Frankly, there are days that I could do without that tornado that tears through my house multiple times per day.  I don't even know where all this stuff comes from - most of our cupboards are child-proofed but not everything we own is able to be either.  I know you may say, just leave the mess until the end of the day.  I do.  I clean it all up at the end of the day after bed time, except that which creates a tripping hazard through my kitchen.  Is it wrong to want just a wee bit of order even throughout the day?

I know this is a phase and it too shall pass.  And, as my husband reminded me this morning, when EM is 15 years old and being difficult as only a teenage girl can be, we will fondly look back on her tornado days with a tear in our eye at the preciousness of it all.  I do not disagree. Yet, part of me cannot wait to be through this particular phase.  Does that make me a terrible mom? 

This age is truly adorable and enjoyable for so many other reasons.  EM is starting to talk, developing such a wonderful personality, and a real relationship with her brother, and watching her figure out the world around her is an amazing experience as her parent.  She is a light and a joy to our family.  She laughs louder and harder and we all follow suite.  We marvel at her silliness.

Yet, this tornado part of being a 15 month old is getting just a bit exhausting for this mommy.  Can't we just sit and play nicely (and maybe quietly) with a few toys?  Nope, there she goes again.  Off to go rescue her brother's beloved trucks before he notices.

I Read a Book! And, Thankfully, it wasn't a Board Book.

Actually, make that two books. That’s more books than I read in 2013 altogether. 

The husband and I just returned from one week of vacation – away from the kids, work, trying to find work, and all that lies in between.  Before you come to any conclusions on our escape, please understand a few things.  This was our first time away from both kids, by ourselves and together, for even one night, let alone seven.  We do not live near any family so this is definitely a privilege and also an event that likely will not soon be repeated. 

We definitely enjoyed our time away from playing cook, cleaner, laundress, butt wiper, errand runner, employee…and enjoyed all of the adult activities we rarely have the time for.  You know, drinking coffee while it’s hot, eating your meal while it’s hot, enjoying too many adult beverages, lounging by the pool instead of entertaining (read: chasing) children.  (If you were thinking of other adult activities, shame on you, this is a family blog!)  Let’s just say: it was a glorious time.  

Can't you just feel the relaxation?

Time away from the kids in any amount is something to be appreciated, valued, and most importantly, a routine occurrence.  As a parent, it is so easy to lose focus on who you really are, what you want in life, your goals, ambitions, etc.  I have found this to be especially true once we added the second child to our family– this has brought a whole new meaning to the word “busy” or even “crazy.”  And, if I am being honest, I do feel I have lost touch with much of who I was (pre-kids) during the past few years.  However, I also am totally aware that this time is temporary and I will one day again, soon-ish, have more time for myself and we will have more time my adult relationships. 

I realize none of what I am saying is new information, but, what is new is for me to recognize these feelings and to finally understand what parents of older children have been saying all along.  You just don’t really get it until you are IN it. 

So.  While I would love to be able to say: we will take more vacations alone! We will go on date nights every week! We will take time for ourselves every day!  I also know that trying to achieve these lofty ambitions would be setting us up to fail.  It’s just not currently realistic on a daily basis and I don’t want the disappointment when we fail the first week in. 

BUT, and there is a but here, I have now truly realized and internalized how valuable time away from the kids is.  And not the time away you experience on a dinner and a movie date-night.  With that scenario, you barely have time to decompress; in addition, the prep-work needed to prepare the babysitter for an evening is sometimes more stress than its worth (in my experience). 

Time away, like far away, is valuable in many other ways, especially for Type-A personalities like myself.  I can truly unplug, detach, and not worry because I have no other choice due to distance, lack of cell service and remoteness. And then guess what happens: I can finally relax, enjoy our time together, and continue to build a more solid foundation for our family to grow upon.  One that will hopefully get us through all that life throws at us until our next escape.  Speaking of which, I'm sure there's something I must be doing right now...