8 Reasons I Will Miss Breastfeeding Now That It's Over

I am now one month removed from my very last time breastfeeding my (likely) very last baby.  And while for the most part, my reaction to this is a big sigh of relief, for a variety of reasons, it also gives me a pang of nostalgia and sadness that it is over.

In total, I nursed my two babies, the boy and sister, for 29 months. Both of them were able to wean on their own - a fact that I am eternally and whole-heartedly grateful for.  My only goal in completing my nursing experience with each of them was that they could choose when they were done.  And they did.  The boy at 13 months and sister at 16 months.  I cannot even put into words my contentment and satisfaction with this fact.

But, as I alluded above, at least with my recent baby, I was feeling ready to move on.  Luckily, it turns out she was too and we shared that last nursing session during a late night dream feed because I just needed some relief.  In the moment, I had a suspicion that would be it, and it was.  I was sad for a minute, but mostly grateful for the experience. 

Please allow me now to take a minute to reflect on all the ways that I will miss what has become my (very time-consuming) hobby these last two years.

1.  Food.  I was one of those nursing mom's who definitely needed to consume extra calories to produce enough milk.  Hello ice cream and nutella, you are already sorely missed from my daily menu.  (Although my butt and hips may soon be glad you are gone.)

2.  Physical fitness.  It was so nice to be able to burn at least 500 calories a day WHILE DOING NOTHING.  I relished in this probably a little too much actually and need to get my butt moving a bit more now.  No more excuses!

3.  Time to relax.  I have a busy life. Who doesn't these days though, right?  It turns out that being forced to take a break and sit on the couch or up in the nursery several times a day for a little breather wasn't so terrible after all.    

4.  Bonding with my baby.  Our time nursing was probably the only uninterrupted, quiet time we had together the entire day.  This was even more true with my second baby because I had a toddler running around.  There is nothing quite as special as having your baby gaze at you lovingly while filling their belly.  Now that I think of it, no one has been gazing lovingly at me since either.

5.  Big Boobs.  Ahem.  So, not that it matters of course, but it was kinda nice to have a little cleavage these past months.  Normally, I am lacking in that department a bit so I'll take it where I can get it.

6.  Saving money.  Let's be honest.  One of the major reasons breastfeeding rocks is that its FREE. (Mostly- save for that pump if you need one.  But new laws have even made that possibly free.)  Buying formula sucks if only for the cost.  While I am proud to say my youngest did not require a drop of formula (GO ME!), my first baby did need supplementing with formula due to milk supply issues.  And even supplementing a few bottles a day was pretty costly.  No thanks.

7.  Getting out of chores.  OK, keep this one on the down low.  But all of that time spent nursing was time I could not possibly be helping with other things that needed doing...like giving our oldest his bath, walking the dog, doing the dishes, and picking up the house.  "Sorry honey, I have to feed the baby" provided a convenient excuse for my husband to pick up my slack without him batting an eyelash, while I got a little time out.

8.  Being the sole food source.  What's the point in making all of that milk if you can't brag about it a little bit?  Excuse me while I feed my ego now.  Being the sole provider of food for your child is nothing short of a wonderful, miraculous feat and one I feel proud to have accomplished twice.  Once they start on pureed foods this changes a bit but knowing that someone else is depending on you for survival, and you are providing the means to it, is a pretty cool feeling.

One thing I will not miss: my pump.  It's the best friend I never wanted!

What will you (or do you) miss most about breastfeeding your little one? 

How do I miss thee Nutella? Let me count the ways...

When They Wean on Their Own

This one's been a long time coming.

We're both avid supporters of breastfeeding and, between the two of us, nursed three children for a combined total of 43 months, which is the better part of 3 1/2 years.  And, for both of us, most of that nursing was done after our maternity leave brought us back to work.

For me, Sarah, I had zero, I repeat, zero, expectation of breastfeeding.  I didn't even know if I was going to do it.  I planned nothing regarding the birth of my child and this was no exception. Here's the thing, the minute I had her in my arms, the most natural thing on earth was to offer her milk - from me. So, I did. And, I continued for the next 13 months.

We were one of those lucky pairs that it came very naturally to. It was (relatively) pain free, stress free and enjoyable. In fact, I loved the relationship it cultivated between AK and I - one that I think thrives even today because of that bond. When I went back to work, I wanted to continue. It was my link to her, especially considering how much I missed her. Every day, at lunch, I would get a text telling me when she was ready to eat. I would get on my little motorized scooter and I would drive the few blocks to her daycare where I nursed her - just in time for her nap.

When she was first born, I nursed on demand. Around the clock. I was against any sort of scheduling for such a young baby. I wanted her to know that I would provide for her, just when she needed it. Of course, as she grew, we gradually and naturally settled into more of a suitable schedule that worked around her being in daycare and me working full time. And, that's how it worked for many months.

I miss it.

But, I am so beyond thankful for the fact that she weaned herself. Once we started this relationship, my main goal was to nurse as long as she wanted it but not up until the point where she was bigger than me (in her defense, I am small).  I really wanted her to wean herself. And, she did.

Looking back, I kinda wish we had a bit longer, but nothing replaces that sense of satisfaction that I did just what she needed for as long as she needed it.

The great part about it all was that she was quite gentle on me. I don't know if innately she knew how emotional the entire process was for me or how sore I would be if she cut me off cold turkey. But, she weaned over the period of about three weeks. I would notice that each session was a bit shorter until it was no longer.

The last session to go was the "dream feed:" something both Tracy and I did for the majority of our nursing relationship. We would get the little one out of her bed right before we turned in for the night. The concept behind it was to "top them off" before bed, giving us a little longer to slumber. For us, it worked perfectly.

One night, 13 months and 9 days after we started, AK gently turned her head away. Even in her sleep. She was weaned.

I think there are very few things we can do for our children greater than the gift of breast milk. And, I also understand that some people choose not to do it or cannot do it. I respect all angles. But, I remain steadfastly thankful for my ability and my desire to nurture that relationship. Until she was ready to move on. My big girl.

All weaned.  Now what?!