8 Reasons I Will Miss Breastfeeding Now That It's Over

I am now one month removed from my very last time breastfeeding my (likely) very last baby.  And while for the most part, my reaction to this is a big sigh of relief, for a variety of reasons, it also gives me a pang of nostalgia and sadness that it is over.

In total, I nursed my two babies, the boy and sister, for 29 months. Both of them were able to wean on their own - a fact that I am eternally and whole-heartedly grateful for.  My only goal in completing my nursing experience with each of them was that they could choose when they were done.  And they did.  The boy at 13 months and sister at 16 months.  I cannot even put into words my contentment and satisfaction with this fact.

But, as I alluded above, at least with my recent baby, I was feeling ready to move on.  Luckily, it turns out she was too and we shared that last nursing session during a late night dream feed because I just needed some relief.  In the moment, I had a suspicion that would be it, and it was.  I was sad for a minute, but mostly grateful for the experience. 

Please allow me now to take a minute to reflect on all the ways that I will miss what has become my (very time-consuming) hobby these last two years.

1.  Food.  I was one of those nursing mom's who definitely needed to consume extra calories to produce enough milk.  Hello ice cream and nutella, you are already sorely missed from my daily menu.  (Although my butt and hips may soon be glad you are gone.)

2.  Physical fitness.  It was so nice to be able to burn at least 500 calories a day WHILE DOING NOTHING.  I relished in this probably a little too much actually and need to get my butt moving a bit more now.  No more excuses!

3.  Time to relax.  I have a busy life. Who doesn't these days though, right?  It turns out that being forced to take a break and sit on the couch or up in the nursery several times a day for a little breather wasn't so terrible after all.    

4.  Bonding with my baby.  Our time nursing was probably the only uninterrupted, quiet time we had together the entire day.  This was even more true with my second baby because I had a toddler running around.  There is nothing quite as special as having your baby gaze at you lovingly while filling their belly.  Now that I think of it, no one has been gazing lovingly at me since either.

5.  Big Boobs.  Ahem.  So, not that it matters of course, but it was kinda nice to have a little cleavage these past months.  Normally, I am lacking in that department a bit so I'll take it where I can get it.

6.  Saving money.  Let's be honest.  One of the major reasons breastfeeding rocks is that its FREE. (Mostly- save for that pump if you need one.  But new laws have even made that possibly free.)  Buying formula sucks if only for the cost.  While I am proud to say my youngest did not require a drop of formula (GO ME!), my first baby did need supplementing with formula due to milk supply issues.  And even supplementing a few bottles a day was pretty costly.  No thanks.

7.  Getting out of chores.  OK, keep this one on the down low.  But all of that time spent nursing was time I could not possibly be helping with other things that needed doing...like giving our oldest his bath, walking the dog, doing the dishes, and picking up the house.  "Sorry honey, I have to feed the baby" provided a convenient excuse for my husband to pick up my slack without him batting an eyelash, while I got a little time out.

8.  Being the sole food source.  What's the point in making all of that milk if you can't brag about it a little bit?  Excuse me while I feed my ego now.  Being the sole provider of food for your child is nothing short of a wonderful, miraculous feat and one I feel proud to have accomplished twice.  Once they start on pureed foods this changes a bit but knowing that someone else is depending on you for survival, and you are providing the means to it, is a pretty cool feeling.

One thing I will not miss: my pump.  It's the best friend I never wanted!

What will you (or do you) miss most about breastfeeding your little one? 

How do I miss thee Nutella? Let me count the ways...

When They Wean on Their Own

This one's been a long time coming.

We're both avid supporters of breastfeeding and, between the two of us, nursed three children for a combined total of 43 months, which is the better part of 3 1/2 years.  And, for both of us, most of that nursing was done after our maternity leave brought us back to work.

For me, Sarah, I had zero, I repeat, zero, expectation of breastfeeding.  I didn't even know if I was going to do it.  I planned nothing regarding the birth of my child and this was no exception. Here's the thing, the minute I had her in my arms, the most natural thing on earth was to offer her milk - from me. So, I did. And, I continued for the next 13 months.

We were one of those lucky pairs that it came very naturally to. It was (relatively) pain free, stress free and enjoyable. In fact, I loved the relationship it cultivated between AK and I - one that I think thrives even today because of that bond. When I went back to work, I wanted to continue. It was my link to her, especially considering how much I missed her. Every day, at lunch, I would get a text telling me when she was ready to eat. I would get on my little motorized scooter and I would drive the few blocks to her daycare where I nursed her - just in time for her nap.

When she was first born, I nursed on demand. Around the clock. I was against any sort of scheduling for such a young baby. I wanted her to know that I would provide for her, just when she needed it. Of course, as she grew, we gradually and naturally settled into more of a suitable schedule that worked around her being in daycare and me working full time. And, that's how it worked for many months.

I miss it.

But, I am so beyond thankful for the fact that she weaned herself. Once we started this relationship, my main goal was to nurse as long as she wanted it but not up until the point where she was bigger than me (in her defense, I am small).  I really wanted her to wean herself. And, she did.

Looking back, I kinda wish we had a bit longer, but nothing replaces that sense of satisfaction that I did just what she needed for as long as she needed it.

The great part about it all was that she was quite gentle on me. I don't know if innately she knew how emotional the entire process was for me or how sore I would be if she cut me off cold turkey. But, she weaned over the period of about three weeks. I would notice that each session was a bit shorter until it was no longer.

The last session to go was the "dream feed:" something both Tracy and I did for the majority of our nursing relationship. We would get the little one out of her bed right before we turned in for the night. The concept behind it was to "top them off" before bed, giving us a little longer to slumber. For us, it worked perfectly.

One night, 13 months and 9 days after we started, AK gently turned her head away. Even in her sleep. She was weaned.

I think there are very few things we can do for our children greater than the gift of breast milk. And, I also understand that some people choose not to do it or cannot do it. I respect all angles. But, I remain steadfastly thankful for my ability and my desire to nurture that relationship. Until she was ready to move on. My big girl.

All weaned.  Now what?!

Snapshot: Nursing 14 Months Later

The first days, weeks and even months of nursing your baby can be so difficult, and that may even be an understatement.  The questions never seem to end: Is my baby latching right? Is my baby getting enough milk? Not enough milk? Did my milk come in? My boobs/nipples hurt so badly- why? Is my baby gaining enough weight? Is my baby eating enough? Should I supplement?  How much should I pump before I go back to work?  And on and on....

Needless to say, this is a stressful time for new moms.  I can say, however, that once you make it to baby #2, this time is significantly less stressful and less overwhelming.  Most of the questions have been answered before.  There may be new issues, however, you now have the confidence to deal with those and move forward.

A plateau of sorts is then reached in your nursing relationship with your baby.  In my experience, this happens around 3-4 months.  Everyone knows what they are doing and how to do it.  You go back to work and figure out how to navigate the working-pumping life.  You introduce solid foods and baby adjusts their nursing needs accordingly. And life goes on, a routine develops, and life becomes normal-ish. 

Fast forward to today. We have made it to 14 months and 15 days of nursing.  I am extremely proud of this for a few reasons.  With my first child, CJ, my milk supply suffered a drastic decline around 7 months and I had to supplement with formula until he self-weaned at 13 months and 7 days.  I have always felt guilty (and yes, I know I shouldn't) that I was not able to exclusively provide breast milk.  With my second child, EM, I also had a decline in my supply around 8 months but was able to recover enough to not need to supplement.  And I have secretly (I guess not anymore!) relished in the fact that EM has never had a drop of formula.  Its probably one of my proudest accomplishments, second to my natural child birth.

So, what does nursing a 14 month old look like?  We nurse when she wakes in the morning for about 5 minutes total.  Since I am currently unemployed, we then nurse after her nap for about 5 minutes.  Some days she does not want this after nap so we skip right to snack time instead. And finally, we nurse for about 5 minutes at bedtime.  That's it.  Its been this way for about 3 months now. It's pretty easy and requires hardly any time at all which totally works for me.  Because of my current (un)employment situation, I have seen no reason to change this as long as its what she wants.  I offer and if she wants it - great - and if she refuses - that's fine too.   

I do see signs here and there of her starting the process to self-wean and I am completely at peace with this.  While I realize that the opinions can vary far and wide on this subject, I have always been of the mindset that when my babies are ready to stop, then I will stop, as long as they are making that decision.  I have a hard time with making that decision for them. When will this end?  I don't know.  But for today, I am feeling good about where we are.

If she could talk, she would say, "more milky!"

The Early Days of Nursing

The funny thing about the first few days and weeks of nursing is that life is such a blur for so many reasons (namely, sleep deprivation the likes of which you've never seen before) that providing reflective thoughts after the fact can prove a bit difficult.

But, one of my closest friends is days away from giving birth to her first baby.  (Incidentally, she is due on my birthday! Guess what special gift I am hoping for!) And, she plans to exclusively breastfeed.  And, I have promised to guide her along her journey offering my support and advice when needed.  After all, as I have previously mentioned, I truly believe that it is with the support and encouragement of our friends and family that breastfeeding relationships can thrive.

It is my experience that despite the fact that the United States government and the American Academy of Pediatrics, in addition to countless other countries, recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first year (plus!) of your child's life, that at least in the U.S. little breastfeeding education and preparation is automatically given to new moms PRIOR to and AFTER baby's arrival.  It is further my experience that this lack of education leaves these new moms (myself included) feeling scared, lost, confused, and worried in those first days.  Particularly if there are any difficulties.

I will not attempt to reinvent the wheel.  Much has already been written about the mechanics of those first days and weeks.  The place I always go to for breastfeeding information is a well-known blog offering evidence-based breastfeeding information and there is a great post detailing all of what a new mom needs to know in those first days as far as feeding times, how much milk, physical changes in your body, and milk supply.

Instead, what I want to offer to you is what I was not told, did not read, and therefore did not know in my first days and weeks of nursing, sugar-coating not included. 

So, here we go. 

1. Nursing is hard work.  It's important to remember that both you and your baby are completely new to breastfeeding.  You need to learn the right way to do it and so does your baby.  They do not come out knowing the proper latch, you have to teach them.  The great news is that they are very coachable and they learn quick.

2. Just because your friends have problems breast feeding their babies, doesn't mean you will too!  This one cannot be stressed enough. I cannot count the number of friends who have said to me something along the lines of  "My sister/friend/cousin had all of these problems, so I don't know if I will be able to breast feed." This is completely not true. Also, your experience will certainly not be what your friend experienced, especially if you persevere through the lows that will definitely happen.

3. Nurse on Demand.  I am sure you have heard this one before.  But, it is worth repeating because this is so true.  When those babies want to nurse every 11 minutes, it's because they are HUNGRY, but not because they are using you as a pacifier.  Their stomachs are just itty bitty right now and breast milk digests very quickly.  They are growing at ridiculous rates and there are growth spurts all the time in the first few weeks.  So, when they want to eat, feed them.  Plus, all this nursing truly is what establishes a good milk supply for your entire nursing relationship (and that doubly goes for the night nursing). Yes, some babies seem to be hungrier than others and your friend who has a baby that slept 6 hours at night after 6 weeks is considered lucky.  But, I promise that the length between nursing sessions will get longer over time and more importantly, it will get more manageable too.

3. Don't second guess yourself.  If you feel something is wrong, or something you are trying is not working, you ultimately know what's best for you and your baby.  Get all the advice and information you can from doctors, lactation consultants, friends, and family, but in the end, remember that its your journey and your decision.

4. Pick a resource/consultant/friend and stick with it.  There are a myriad of different, and often contradicting, philosophies and techniques when it comes to breast feeding.  This can be incredibly confusing to a new mom seeking information from multiple resources and can lead to second guessing both yourself and the information you are given.  So, pick the source(s) you trust the most and that align with your own beliefs and pledge your loyalty.

5. There will be difficulties.  Note, I did not say there will be problems.  Difficulties can be overcome and nearly every issue you will have in your early days of breastfeeding can be resolved.  It may not be easy, it may involve tears, swollen (rock-hard) painful breasts, cracked and bleeding nipples, not to mention completely off-the-chart hormone levels, but you CAN breastfeed! You just have to work at it like you would learning any new skill. (See #1)

6. It gets easier.  Finally, some good news.  Once you weather those first days of learning how to breastfeed, I promise, it will definitely get easier.  And, less exhausting, all-consuming, overwhelming and then turn into something you actually enjoy.  Hang in there.

This list is definitely not exhaustive, and of course, everyone has a different experience.  I also want to stress that if breastfeeding doesn't work for you, for whatever the reason, the most important factor in your baby's life is the bonding they will do with their parents in these early days. Love counts more. 

What would you add to this list?  What were the early days of nursing your first baby like for you?  I would love to hear from you on this subject because I truly feel that this is something that is just not talked about enough and just by talking about it we might help another mom to not have to experience this phase all alone.

Well, maybe not at first. 

8 Real Tips for Pumping While Travelling without your Baby

For the past four years, my job required that I travelled overnight one or more times a month, mostly requiring air travel.  Also during the past four years I had two babies, each of which I breastfed for 12 months.  The bright side of this is that I have become quite experienced travelling with my pump (hilarious stories about my travels told separately).  I see so many questions about this subject in various message boards, so below are my tricks of the trade, so to speak, for managing this endeavor.  Happy Pumping!

1.     Ice Packs.  Bring ice packs proportional to the amount of pumped milk you plan to carry home.  For example, if you will be gone a week, then 1-2 ice packs is not enough.  If you plan to carry ice packs on the plane, make sure they are frozen to avoid extra screening through security.  I usually would pack my extra ice packs in my checked bag if possible to avoid having to carry them on plane before I needed them. 

2.     Milk Storage and Transport.  Depending on the length of your trip, you will need more space than your pump cooler bag allows.  I purchased a foldable, neoprene cooler bag of medium size and packed it in my suitcase.  On my return trip home, I packed it full of milk and ice packs allowing for plenty of space to bring home the milk.  No need to dump any milk!

3.     No place to Pump, No problem.  During much of my travel, I was driving from meeting to meeting.  Because of this I either had no time or no place to pump.  Out of necessity, and this may sound crazy, but I had to learn to pump and drive.  This endeavor is actually quite easy.  Hook up your pump as normal and place it in the passenger seat.  Ideally, instead of using a battery pack (I always found the pump wasn’t as powerful when run off batteries), purchase an appropriate cord to connect pump to the car’s lighter outlet. Bonus if the car has an actual outlet.  The key to this scenario is to also bring your nursing cover so once the pump is going, cover yourself up and pump away!  No one you drive by will be the wiser.

4.     Pumping at the Airport. The best place to pump without a doubt is a family restroom.  There is always an outlet, usually a bench and/or shelf, and is completely private.  Do not feel guilty for hogging the family restroom for 20 minutes.  I have seen many a pumping mama exiting the family restroom as well as the male business traveler. Hmm. 

5.     Carrying Home Pumped Milk.  Ideally, try to freeze the pumped milk before you depart.  This is especially helpful if your travel home is relatively short (1-3 hours) and you will freeze the milk upon your return home.  Frozen milk packed with enough ice packs will stay mostly frozen in this time and if you can get it right in the freezer when you get home, it will be fine.  Travel of longer time periods you may not want to freeze as it may fully defrost, so just make sure you have enough ice packs to keep it cold.

6.     Have a Schedule.  I always found it easiest to stick to my baby’s normal feeding schedule in order to time pumping sessions, whenever possible.  The reason this is important is that you don’t want your milk supply to be negatively affected by missed feeding sessions.  Milk production is truly supply and demand and since your baby is not there to drain the boobs, sticking to a pumping schedule could be the most important part of your travel.  Case in point, if your baby is still feeding at night, you might want to still get up at night to pump.  If you can’t resist a full night sleep alone in a hotel room (Ahem), pump immediately before sleep and right when you wake.  One or possibly two nights of missed night pumping is not the end of the world, however, more than that could create a milk shortage during the day. 

7.     Drink and Eat.  Don’t forget to take care of yourself and this includes enough calories and plenty of water to produce enough milk.  Work travel can be busy and it is easy to forget this, or not have access to enough sustenance.  I avoided this by packing snacks, a refillable water bottle, and stopping at a grocery store when I arrived to my destination to stock up on food for meals and snacks.  

8.     Get Home and Nurse Your Baby.  When you get home, your first priority is to nurse your baby.  This is important for a few reasons.  Baby has missed mommy and you want to re-establish the connection and let baby know you are still open for business. Also, depending how long you were gone, your boobs may need a good draining.  In my experience, more than 3-4 days solo-pumping and I would get a bit tender.  One good nursing session and my boobs were always back to normal. 

 

Are these tips helpful? Do you have a lot of experience travelling and pumping? 

What would you add to my list?

  



A "Lactation Station" was recently installed in Vermont's Burlington International Airport!