Part of me thinks: What in the world has happened to me?? The other part: I kinda like it.
I did not purposefully and consciously decide to quit my job and stay home with my two children, ages 3 years and 16 months. I definitely did not ever picture myself as a stay-at-home mom. In fact, when I married my husband I specifically told him that was just not part of my career goals and long-term plan.
But, as we all know, life often takes turns you did not envision and this is definitely one of those for me. You see, I was laid-off from my job 6 months ago and so far I have not found that next perfect professional opportunity. While I am still trying to discover what I want to be when I grow up and also find a position with a company that allows me the balance in my life that I desire, it just has not happened for me yet.
So, for 6 months now I have been able to arrange weekday playdates and fun outings, cook interesting and healthy meals, get back into a workout routine, create and deepen friendships, and so many other activities that the kids and I have enjoyed together simply because I did not have to go to a job outside of the home. (Because, what I am doing is most definitely still a job.) Oh, and I also painted three rooms in my house. Go ahead - call me Susie Homemaker - I don't mind.
|I could do these moments every day forever.|
While being home with two little ones is definitely not easy and full of challenging moments, they are just that- moments. I wouldn't trade for anything the hardest of days with these kids (and there are LOTS of those) for not having had this time at home with them. I know with complete certainly I will never regret this time at home despite the strong desire to be professional and earn an income again.
I also know that months or years from now this period of time is one I will feel so nostalgic about. I already am having twinges that I should be doing more - more fun, more adventures, more activities. It's a tough one because there are also the chores, errands, naps, laundry, cleaning and such to keep up with.
So why the regret right now? There is a chance that my time at home will soon be ending. And, instead of excitement this thought makes me so sad. I knew going into this that being home was temporary but it's getting to the point I cannot imagine not being home. I am definitely struggling with this possible change.
Change is a good thing, right? I know that when I decide to make that big change and return to work, it will only be for the position that truly feels right for me, my children, and my family. I can't imagine it any other way at this point.