Tuesday, June 10, 2014

A Stay At Home Mom...By Accident

I've now been a full-time stay-at-home mom for 6 months.  6 MONTHS.  And, never in a million years did I think I would utter that sentence.  But there you have it. I have become what I never thought I would be.

Part of me thinks: What in the world has happened to me??  The other part: I kinda like it.

I did not purposefully and consciously decide to quit my job and stay home with my two children, ages 3 years and 16 months.  I definitely did not ever picture myself as a stay-at-home mom.  In fact, when I married my husband I specifically told him that was just not part of my career goals and long-term plan.   

But, as we all know, life often takes turns you did not envision and this is definitely one of those for me.  You see, I was laid-off from my job 6 months ago and so far I have not found that next perfect professional opportunity.  While I am still trying to discover what I want to be when I grow up and also find a position with a company that allows me the balance in my life that I desire, it just has not happened for me yet.

So, for 6 months now I have been able to arrange weekday playdates and fun outings, cook interesting and healthy meals, get back into a workout routine, create and deepen friendships, and so many other activities that the kids and I have enjoyed together simply because I did not have to go to a job outside of the home.  (Because, what I am doing is most definitely still a job.)  Oh, and I also painted three rooms in my house. Go ahead - call me Susie Homemaker - I don't mind.

I could do these moments every day forever.

While being home with two little ones is definitely not easy and full of challenging moments, they are just that- moments.  I wouldn't trade for anything the hardest of days with these kids (and there are LOTS of those) for not having had this time at home with them.  I know with complete certainly I will never regret this time at home despite the strong desire to be professional and earn an income again.

I also know that months or years from now this period of time is one I will feel so nostalgic about.  I already am having twinges that I should be doing more - more fun, more adventures, more activities.  It's a tough one because there are also the chores, errands, naps, laundry, cleaning and such to keep up with. 

So why the regret right now?  There is a chance that my time at home will soon be ending.  And, instead of excitement this thought makes me so sad.  I knew going into this that being home was temporary but it's getting to the point I cannot imagine not being home.  I am definitely struggling with this possible change.  

Change is a good thing, right?  I know that when I decide to make that big change and return to work, it will only be for the position that truly feels right for me, my children, and my family.  I can't imagine it any other way at this point. 

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